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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235754">Stargazing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyriaBlackFrost/pseuds/LyriaBlackFrost'>LyriaBlackFrost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fool and Chariot [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:47:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyriaBlackFrost/pseuds/LyriaBlackFrost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After an entire year surrounded by people who truly cared about him, Akira finds it difficult to deal with the indifference of his family. He doesn’t want to worry Ryuji, but, at the same time, he knows he can’t go through it alone.</p>
<p>That’s when Ryuji decides to spend a weekend in Akira’s hometown, to cheer his boyfriend up and remind him of how loved he is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurusu Akira &amp; Morgana, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fool and Chariot [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1198627</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>294</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stargazing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It’s been a long time since I last updated this series, but the world is pure chaos right now,  and I <i>needed</i> to write my OTP being sappy and in love.</p>
<p>I’ve been listening to Mili a lot these past few days, and the song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOlWu15vzyE">Past the Stargazing Season</a> gave me some ideas for this fic. It's so sweet. :')</p>
<p>I hope you like the fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Going back to his hometown hadn’t been easy for Akira. Most people still treated him like a delinquent of sorts, keeping their distance and whispering whenever he passed by them. Even his parents still avoided talking to him as much as they could, as if to remind him of all the trouble he made them go through for not ‘minding his own business’. But, worse than that, he missed his friends. In that single year, the Phantom Thieves became much more like a family to him than the one he was living with at that moment.</p>
<p>Akira sighed. He knew he shouldn’t feel depressed over something like that--it would be just a year, after all. However, sometimes the loneliness was more than he could bear, seeming to weight down on him to the point it was difficult to think about anything else.</p>
<p>In an attempt to distract himself, he reached for his phone, opening the folder of photos they took during their brief road trip on their way to Akira’s hometown. The first one had Futaba holding Morgana in front of her face like a giant mustache, and it was enough to get a small giggle out of him. Yusuke with an excited smile, showing a strange sea creature to the camera… Makoto and Haru posing like an old couple… Ann stealing a bite from Akira’s ice cream while he was distracted… And, of course, Akira lying on the sand while Ryuji made giant sand boobs on him.</p>
<p><em>Ryuji…</em> At least half of those photos had his boyfriend in it, and looking at them made a bittersweet feeling spread throughout Akira’s chest. He hated being away from all his friends, but Ryuji was certainly the person he missed the most. During that past year, the two of them had been inseparable, and becoming boyfriends hadn’t changed the fact that, above everything else, they were best friends. In both good moments and the worst of his life, Ryuji had been there for him, and not being able to see his face or feel his comforting warmth was more difficult than Akira had anticipated.</p>
<p>Akira kept looking at the photos, but now part of his mind was somewhere else. A few weeks before he left, Ryuji said that he was planning to find a full-time job as soon as he graduated from school, but Akira--with the help of their friends and Aoi Sakamoto--was doing what he could to convince him to apply for a college. The problem was, as always, managing to speak louder than Ryuji’s constant self-doubt.</p>
<p>He stared at a photo of Ryuji kissing his cheek for a long while, before finally closing the folder with a slight pain in his chest. He glanced at the time, and from there, his gaze fell upon the date. April 10th… It had been exactly a year and a day since he first moved to Tokyo, which meant…</p>
<p>Akira jolted up, startling Morgana, who was taking a nap next to him. The cat grumbled some complaints, and Akira caressed his ears as an apology while making a call. It didn’t take long for him to hear Ryuji’s voice on the other side.</p>
<p>“<em>Hey, nerd.”</em></p>
<p>Part of Akira wanted to fully incarnate the hopeless romantic, but it would go against his morals to waste the chance to be unnecessarily dramatic.</p>
<p>“Ryuji…” he said in a serious voice.</p>
<p>The change in Ryuji’s voice was immediate, going from a cheerful tone to a concerned one.</p>
<p>“<em>What?” </em>he asked. <em>“Somethin’ wrong?”</em></p>
<p>“Ryuji!” repeated Akira, this time in a slightly louder and more excited tone.</p>
<p>“<em>What?”</em></p>
<p>Ryuji sounded less worried. Akira intensified the excitement in his voice.</p>
<p>“Ryuji!”</p>
<p>“<em>Holy shit Akira, you wanna kill me?” </em>Ryuji yelled on the other side. <em>“Just tell me what’s happening!”</em></p>
<p>“Tomorrow is our first anniversary!”</p>
<p>There was a brief, confused silence on Ryuji’s end of the line.</p>
<p>“<em>Anniversary…?” </em>repeated Ryuji. <em>“Didn’t we start datin’ in—”</em></p>
<p>“No!” Akira interrupted him. “Our friendship anniversary! We first met tomorrow, one year ago.”</p>
<p>Akira waited as Ryuji let that sink in.</p>
<p>“<em>Fuck!”</em> he finally said.</p>
<p>“Yes!” agreed Akira.</p>
<p>“<em>Man… You’re right! I didn’t remember it.”</em></p>
<p>“I remembered because it was two days after I moved to Tokyo,” explained Akira.</p>
<p>Ryuji laughed, and the sound made Akira wish he could hug him and kiss his cheeks.</p>
<p>“<em>Shit, it’s been just a year?” </em>proceeded Ryuji. <em>“I kinda feel like I’ve known you for my whole life.”</em></p>
<p>“I know, me too.”</p>
<p>“<em>If I knew before I’d find a way to go see you…”</em></p>
<p>Akira almost told him it wasn’t too late yet, but stopped himself in time.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” he said.</p>
<p>“<em>No…” </em>insisted Ryuji. <em>“Now I miss you even more than I did before.”</em></p>
<p>“I miss you too.”</p>
<p>Both of them stopped talking, the cheerfulness seeming to fade from the conversation.</p>
<p>“<em>It’s still kinda weird, ain’t it?” </em>said Ryuji in a low voice. <em>“I was so used to being with you every day, that now… I dunno, it feels like something’s missin’.”</em></p>
<p>“It’ll be just one year,” reminded Akira.</p>
<p>“<em>I know…” </em>Ryuji sighed. <em>“Damn, why won’t time just go faster?”</em></p>
<p>“Right?”</p>
<p>Akira wanted to say something else, but no words came. It was good to hear Ryuji’s voice, but thinking that he wouldn’t be at school the next day, and instead, Akira would have to face all those judging looks was...</p>
<p>“<em>Aki?”</em></p>
<p>Before Akira could hold them back, the words left his mouth.</p>
<p>“It’s being really hard, you know?” he said. “Being away from you, and the others… If Mona wasn’t around, I don’t know what I’d do.”</p>
<p>He felt like he was about to cry, so he stopped talking. He didn’t want to throw all his problems at Ryuji, and much less to spoil their conversations with those things, but hearing Ryuji’s voice had that effect on him. It was difficult to keep his pain hidden with him around.</p>
<p>“<em>Your parents still not talkin’ to you?” </em>asked Ryuji after a while, in a low, cautious voice.</p>
<p>“No,” answered Akira. “Nor people at school, or basically anyone. People just keep giving me these weird looks, and I’m tired of it.”</p>
<p>He made a brief pause before adding:</p>
<p>“I want to go back.”</p>
<p>“<em>I know, babe…” </em>answered Ryuji. <em>“I know. Is there anythin’ I can do?”</em></p>
<p>“No, I just… I guess I just needed to let this out.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“You sure? If you need a place to stay, there’s one right here.”</em>
</p>
<p>Akira sighed, part of him wanting nothing but to accept Ryuji’s offer and leave that same night.</p>
<p>“I know,” he said. “But I feel like leaving now would be more trouble than anything else. Besides, it’s just a year… I can live through it.”</p>
<p>“<em>Yeah, but I don’t want you to hurt alone, okay? If you need to talk, or anythin’... just call me, okay?”</em></p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“<em>Good.” </em>Ryuji made a brief pause before adding: <em>“I love you, nerd.”</em></p>
<p>The tenderness in his voice made Akira smile.</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
<p>They talked for a while longer before ending the call, and by the end of it, Akira felt lighter. Morgana approached him, staring at his face.</p>
<p>“Is everything alright?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Akira. “I guess I just missed my gorgeous boyfriend.”</p>
<p>The answer made Morgana groan.</p>
<p>“That’s disgusting…”</p>
<p>Akira simply smiled in return, petting Morgana’s head.</p>
<p>“I’m hungry…” said the cat. “Let’s go eat something.”</p>
<p>Akira thought for a moment. Both his parents were out, which meant he had the kitchen all to himself--which also meant no indirect remarks or judging looks.</p>
<p>“Alright,” he said. “Do you want me to make curry?”</p>
<p>Morgana’s eyes brightened at the suggestion.</p>
<p>“Yes!” he said. “I miss Sojiro’s curry!”</p>
<p>Akira twisted his lips at those words.</p>
<p>“Well…” he said. “It won’t be Sojiro’s curry, but Akira’s curry doesn’t get too far behind.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>Morgana’s tone carried so much disbelief that Akira frowned at him.</p>
<p>“You don’t believe me?” he asked. “Fine, you’ll see… I’ll make you take your words back.”</p>
<p>“You better make it extra delicious, then.”</p>
<p>“Leave it to me.”</p>
<p>Hearing Ryuji’s voice had been enough to give him some energy, so he got out of the bed, walking to the kitchen with Morgana following him.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>As the weeks went by, things didn’t become any better, and, by the middle of June, part of Akira felt like he couldn’t take it anymore. Every day was awful… School was awful, staying at home was awful, and he couldn’t get a part-time job anywhere, to fill his mind. With time, even the things he did to relax, like reading or playing games, seemed to lose their spark. Then, he started to skip classes… First one day, then two. Then an entire week. Then two.</p>
<p>The realization that he had been staring blankly at the ceiling for a long time suddenly fell upon Akira. He had been through that exact situation before, except that, last time, Ryuji was there for him.</p>
<p>“Akira…” called Morgana, who was lying beside him. “Let’s go take a walk.”</p>
<p>“Not now, Mona,” mumbled Akira in response.</p>
<p>Morgana stood up, looking at Akira’s face.</p>
<p>“I’ve seen this before, and I know how it ends,” he said. “Come on, Akira… Being here all day won’t be good for you.”</p>
<p>Akira averted his gaze, despite knowing that Morgana was right. The cat placed both paws on his shoulder, rubbing his head against Akira’s cheek.</p>
<p>“Just make an effort, okay?” he asked.</p>
<p>The last thing Akira wanted was to leave his bedroom, but he didn’t have the heart to say no to Morgana, especially when he was nothing but worried about him.</p>
<p>“Fine…”</p>
<p>He got up from the bed, wearing a light jacket over his clothes. Morgana briefly rubbed his torso against Akira’s leg, happy with the answer.</p>
<p>“You’re going to make me fall,” said Akira with a slight smile.</p>
<p>They left the bedroom, and as soon as Akira stepped outside he heard his mother’s voice. She was speaking on her cell phone, probably with a coworker, judging by her tone. Noticing Akira, her face was immediately taken by a bitter expression, and she looked away, walking to her bedroom and shutting the door. Akira stayed where he was for a moment. His chest tightened, and, without thinking, he ran back to his room.</p>
<p>“Akira!”</p>
<p>Only part of his brain registered Morgana’s voice before he locked the door behind him. It was like that every day… Almost as if he didn’t live in that house, and was just a stranger—an inconvenience—to them. At least his father didn’t look at his face… His mother, on the other hand, made sure he remembered every single second that he was a disappointment… A ‘problem-child’, as she liked to say.</p>
<p>He usually just endured it in silence, but, for some reason he couldn’t explain, that day had been too much. He was tired. He wanted to get away from that place. He wanted his friends. He wanted Ryuji.</p>
<p>Without thinking much, Akira reached for his phone, calling Ryuji’s number.</p>
<p>“<em>Hey, gorgeous.”</em></p>
<p>Akira opened his mouth, but the words didn’t come out.</p>
<p>“<em>Akira?”</em></p>
<p>Ryuji’s voice was enough to pull Akira’s feelings from deep inside his chest and into the surface. Before he knew it, the tears were already rolling down his face while he sobbed.</p>
<p>“<em>Aki…” </em>said Ryuji in a gentle, concerned voice. <em>“Are you cryin’?”</em></p>
<p>He didn’t answer immediately. In fact, he didn’t even know what to say.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Aki, what’s wrong?”</em>
</p>
<p>“I can’t do this anymore.”</p>
<p>“<em>Do what?”</em></p>
<p>“I’m tired…” he answered. “I can’t do this… I thought I could endure it for a year, but--”</p>
<p>Akira interrupted his rambling, aware that he wasn’t making any sense.</p>
<p>“Sorry…” he muttered between sobs.</p>
<p><em>“Hey, it’s okay…” </em>answered Ryuji. <em>“You did nothin’ wrong to apologize.”</em></p>
<p>“Sorry…”</p>
<p><em>“It’s okay, Aki,” </em>repeated Ryuji in that kind voice. <em>“Just take some deep breaths for now, alright? I’m here with you.”</em></p>
<p>Akira did as he said, trying to calm down and control his sobs. It seemed to take an eternity before he could finally think more clearly.</p>
<p><em>“Are you better now?”</em> asked Ryuji.</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Akira.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m glad to know… Now, tell me what happened.”</em>
</p>
<p>Akira took another deep breath before speaking.</p>
<p>“Everyone here treats me like I’m a criminal,” he said. “I tried to deal with it, but… I haven’t been able to go to school for two weeks now. And my parents don’t even argue with me, they just… Look at me like I’m some kind of disappointment. Most of the time they don’t even talk to me… It’s like I’m not even here.”</p>
<p>He stopped talking, the tears getting the best of him again.</p>
<p>“I can’t do this anymore…” he repeated in a low voice.</p>
<p>“<em>Aki, I…”</em></p>
<p>Ryuji stopped talking, taking a moment to think before proceeding.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ll go see you this weekend, okay?”</em>
</p>
<p>His words caused a sting of guilt in Akira’s chest.</p>
<p>“No, you don’t have to,” he said.</p>
<p>“<em>I can’t just leave you alone after you told me all that!” </em>insisted Ryuji.</p>
<p>“But I…” Akira gritted his teeth. “Fuck!”</p>
<p>“<em>Aki?” </em>called Ryuji, concerned. <em>“Are you okay?”</em></p>
<p>He was so furious at himself… He knew he shouldn’t have said all that… He didn’t want to guilty-trip Ryuji into visiting him, but that was exactly what he ended up doing without even realizing it.</p>
<p>“That’s not why I called you!” he answered in a loud voice. “I don’t want you to keep doing these things for me, okay? I… I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this!”</p>
<p>Akira stopped when he noticed his own tone.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I—”</p>
<p>“<em>Aki, it’s okay,” </em>said Ryuji. <em>“We’ve talked about this before, remember? You can talk to me whenever you need to.”</em></p>
<p>“I know,” answered Akira. “I’m just… just tired of being like this.”</p>
<p>“<em>Like what?”</em></p>
<p>“A fucking burden. A disappointment. You know…” He tried to find the words, but soon gave up with a tired sigh. “Like <em>this.”</em></p>
<p>“<em>Hey, stop right there,” </em>said Ryuji in a calm voice. <em>“You’re none of those things.”</em></p>
<p>“Then why don’t they even look at my face?” Saying that was enough to make his chest hurt. “I’m so tired of this… I don’t want to be here anymore… I want to go back.”</p>
<p>“<em>Akira, listen… You ain’t a burden, or anythin’ like that. Anyone who really knows you knows this. You’re amazing, okay? No matter what those people might think of you… We know who you really are, and we love you. We miss you so much… You’ve got no idea how important you are to all of us.”</em></p>
<p>Akira didn’t answer, and Ryuji proceeded.</p>
<p>“<em>So, please… Don’t think these things about yourself. You’re hurtin’, and that’s why you can only see the bad things on yourself. But this ain’t the true you.”</em></p>
<p>He repeated Ryuji’s words in his head, half wanting to disbelieve them, and half clinging to them with all he had.</p>
<p>“<em>Aki?” </em>called Ryuji after some seconds of silence.</p>
<p>“I want to go back…” he repeated. “I want to see you…”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Me too, babe… More than anythin’.”</em>
</p>
<p>There was another brief moment of silence, but before Akira could say anything, Ryuji spoke again.</p>
<p>“<em>Is it okay if I go visit your hometown?” </em>he asked. <em>“I really wanna see if it’s as boring as you told me.”</em></p>
<p>“Ryuji…”</p>
<p><em>“I ain’t askin’ this just ‘cause I’m worried. I’m askin’ this ‘cause I really wanna see you. I’ve been thinkin’ about this for a while now…It’s been some time since we saw each other, and…” </em>He stopped for a moment, proceeding in a lower voice. <em>“You’ve got no idea how much I miss you.”</em></p>
<p>As selfish as it could be, those words were comforting to him.</p>
<p>“Actually, I think I do,” he said.</p>
<p>He heard a small chuckle on the other side.</p>
<p><em>“Corny,”</em> said Ryuji.</p>
<p>“You’re the one to talk…”</p>
<p>“<em>I could stay there for a few days,” </em>he proceeded. <em>“Kawakami will understand if I miss a day of class, or two.”</em></p>
<p>“She won’t be happy.”</p>
<p><em>“Yeah…” </em>Ryuji sighed. <em>“She’ll probably make me study even harder when I come back. But it’s for a good reason.”</em></p>
<p>“Am I the good reason?” asked Akira in a slightly playful tone.</p>
<p>
  <em>“The best I’ll ever have. Is that fine with you?”</em>
</p>
<p>Akira considered it for a moment, but in the end, simply gave in.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p><em>“Great!” </em>said Ryuji. <em>“I’ll let you know when everything’s right.”</em></p>
<p>“Ryuji…”</p>
<p>He took a second to find the words.</p>
<p>“Thanks…” he said in a low voice. “Even just talking to you, I…” he stopped, the words failing him once again. “Really, thanks.”</p>
<p><em>“It’s okay, Aki…” </em>answered Ryuji in a sweet voice.<em> “I’m here for you.”</em></p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>They ended the call soon after. Akira absentmindedly reached for the place beside him on the bed, where Morgana usually stayed, finding nothing there.</p>
<p><em>Oh, shit…</em> He had basically shut the door on Morgana’s face. Akira quickly got out of the bed, going to the door and opening it, finding Morgana there, lying on the floor, probably waiting for Akira to notice his absence. Akira’s stomach weighed with the guilt.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Mona…” he said. “I… wasn’t thinking.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry.” Saying that, Morgana stood up, stretching his body before getting inside the room. He looked at Akira’s face, concerned. “Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Akira, sitting on the bed. “I don’t know why I reacted like that.”</p>
<p>“It’s because you keep piling up everything inside yourself,” answered Morgana. “That’s why I keep pestering you all the time.”</p>
<p>“Sorry.”</p>
<p>“Instead of apologizing, try to depend more on me,” asked the cat. “And not only me… There are a lot of people who care about you out there. You know that, right?”</p>
<p>“I know…”</p>
<p>Ryuji’s words about how his friends missed him came back to his mind, like a comfortable, warm blanket. A tiny smile took his lips.</p>
<p>“Ryuji said he’s coming to visit,” he said.</p>
<p>“Why Ryuji?” questioned Morgana with a frown. “I don’t miss him <em>at all</em>…”</p>
<p>His words almost made Akira laugh.</p>
<p>“You do,” he said.</p>
<p>Morgana stared at him, seeming pretty offended.</p>
<p>“Who would miss an idiot like him?” he asked.</p>
<p>“You.”</p>
<p>“I don’t!” insisted the cat, now clearly getting flustered. “You’re the only one who does!”</p>
<p>“Yes,” answered Akira in a monotone voice. “I <em>totally</em> believe you.”</p>
<p>“Akira!” Morgana grumbled to himself, then stared at Akira with a hint of frustration on his expression. “Why are you always like this?”</p>
<p>Akira simply offered him a slight, playful smile as a response. Morgana sighed, defeated.</p>
<p>“But, you know…” proceeded the cat, jumping on the bed to reclaim his rightful place there. “You look a little better now. That’s a relief.”</p>
<p>He offered Akira a smile, and Akira reached for him, holding him close to his chest in a long hug.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Ryuji said he would go see Akira on that same Friday, after class. He had talked to Kawakami about missing classes on Saturday, and she ended up allowing it--but only because his grades were improving. He planned to stay there until Sunday afternoon, which meant they had about two days together. Not a long time, Akira knew, but knowing that he would soon see Ryuji again was enough to lift his humor. He even managed to clean up his room--and surprise himself with the amount of dust that got out of it.</p>
<p>When Ryuji sent him a message saying he was already on his way, Akira was unable to stay still anymore, going out for a walk with Morgana to pass the time, checking his phone every other minute. A second message from Ryuji came some time later, saying that his bus would arrive in about fifteen minutes. Akira had to make an effort not to run to the bus terminal, reminding himself that, even if he got there faster, it wouldn’t make Ryuji’s bus arrive earlier. Morgana accompanied him, making fun of his impatience while also comforting him.</p>
<p>The bus arrived soon after, and Akira almost yelled. Morgana giggled next to him, watching as he approached the platform. That wasn’t the bus’ final stop, so just a few people disembarked, but it felt like an endless line to Akira’s anxiety. He was sure he would barf his stomach out at any minute when he finally saw Ryuji, who glanced around, until his eyes met Akira’s. A wide, excited smile took his lips.</p>
<p>“Aki!”</p>
<p>He ran to the turnstiles, barely crossing them before Akira grabbed him into a tight hug. He didn’t care if other people could see them… The only thing that mattered was that Ryuji was <em>there.</em> Ryuji’s arms closed around his body, in a warm, comfortable embrace, and he placed a kiss on Akira’s cheek.</p>
<p>“I missed you so much,” he said.</p>
<p>Akira could do nothing but look at him, unable to believe that he was really there. He then cupped Ryuji’s face, briefly kissing his lips.</p>
<p>“Me too…” he said. “So, so much.”</p>
<p>They embraced each other tightly once again, staying like that for a long time. Ryuji placed his hand on Akira’s hair, gently caressing it, and only then it came to him that, <em>yes</em>, it was actually happening. He had almost forgotten how safe and warm Ryuji made him feel, and now that he was finally able to experience it again, he didn’t want to let go.</p>
<p>“You two are insufferable…” said Morgana as soon as they finally moved away from each other.</p>
<p>Ryuji stared at the cat, then crouched on the floor in front of him.</p>
<p>“Oh, look…” he said. “Mona is still a little shit. Come here, you bastard furball!”</p>
<p>He took Morgana in his arms, hugging him against his chest and spinning around with him.</p>
<p>“No!” yelled Morgana. “Ryuji, stop!”</p>
<p>“I missed you, you furry little brat!”</p>
<p>Saying that, Ryuji gave Morgana a loud kiss on the head, then finally let go of him.</p>
<p>“You’re terrible…” groaned Morgana.</p>
<p>“He missed you a lot,” said Akira.</p>
<p>“I didn’t!”</p>
<p>Ryuji laughed, then opened his bag placing it on the floor.</p>
<p>“Want a lift back?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I do,” answered Morgana. “It’s the least you could do, stupid Ryuji.”</p>
<p>He got inside Ryuji’s bag, sitting above his clothes with his head and front paws sticking out of the opening. Akira reached for Ryuji’s hand, and when it didn’t feel enough, grabbed his arm, moving closer to him.</p>
<p>“Ryuji…” he said. “You’re really here.”</p>
<p>“‘Course I am.”</p>
<p>Akira smiled, rubbing his forehead on Ryuji’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I’m never letting go of you again,” he said.</p>
<p>“That’ll make it hard to walk…” observed Ryuji.</p>
<p>“I don’t care.”</p>
<p>Morgana sighed, shaking his little head.</p>
<p>“You guys know I’m still here, right?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Mona,” said Ryuji, “we’ll spin around more later.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want that!”</p>
<p>Akira giggled at their bickering, unaware until then of how much he had missed that too. They left the bus terminal, and since Ryuji was still tired from the trip, decided to go straight to Akira’s house. They had dinner together, then spent some time chatting and playing games, until both were too tired to stay awake.</p>
<p>“We’re sharing the bed,” said Akira.</p>
<p>“‘Course we are,” Ryuji chuckled. “I ain’t lettin’ go of you so easy.”</p>
<p>They changed into their sleep clothes, then made a makeshift bed for Morgana with a spare blanket, since, according to him, ‘Ryuji stole his place’. After that, they lied together on the bed, enjoying the proximity and some light caresses.</p>
<p>“Ryuji…” muttered Akira after a while.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You’re here.”</p>
<p>“I am.”</p>
<p>Akira closed his eyes, but his chest was still too full of <em>feelings</em>, and he needed to let those out or he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He looked at Ryuji once again.</p>
<p>“Ryuji…”</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>Instead of answering, Akira simply emitted some unintelligible groans, hugging Ryuji with his arms and legs, rubbing his face against his chest.</p>
<p>“What is it? You weird little thing,” said Ryuji amid an amused laugh, embracing Akira and kissing his head.</p>
<p>“I love you so much…”</p>
<p>“I love you too, babe.”</p>
<p>“No…” Akira groaned in response. “You don’t understand. I love you.”</p>
<p>“I know, Aki.”</p>
<p>“You don’t!” he insisted, forcing a devastated tone. “And you’ll never know how much I love you, because I can’t express it enough…”</p>
<p>“Oh, no…” answered Ryuji in that same tone. “What should I do?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know! I’m sorry Ryuji… I failed you.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t.” Ryuji looked at him, then gestured for him to get closer. “Come here.”</p>
<p>Akira did as he said, lying on top of Ryuji, burying his face on the crook of his neck, while Ryuji embraced his body.</p>
<p>“I feel really loved right now,” whispered Ryuji after a while.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Really.”</p>
<p>Akira smiled, pleased. He gave Ryuji a kiss on his neck, and another on his face, then got comfortable next to him, this time able to relax when he closed his eyes, falling asleep soon after.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Akira wasn’t a morning person, but on the next day he got out of the bed as soon as Ryuji woke up--which was pretty early. His parents were still in bed, which allowed them to eat breakfast on their own.</p>
<p>“So,” started to say Akira, “do you want to take a look around?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” answered Ryuji. “I’m curious to see if Boreland is as boring as you said.”</p>
<p>“Boreland…” Akira giggled, shaking his head. “Well, that’s a fitting name.”</p>
<p>“I’ll go out for a while,” said Morgana. “I’ve had enough of Ryuji for today.”</p>
<p>More of their bickering followed, until they were finished with their food. Akira and Ryuji left the house, slowly walking the streets. Other than a temple, a few restaurants and stores, there wasn’t much to show. In fact, every point of interest in his town could probably fit into a single street of Tokyo.</p>
<p>“Man, I still can’t believe there’s no train station nearby,” commented Ryuji after a while.</p>
<p>“Welcome to the countryside,” answered Akira with a small shrug. “We have a lot of bugs and nothing good to compensate.” He made a pause, considering his own words. “Well… Other than how you can actually see the stars from here at night.”</p>
<p>“You can kinda see them back in Tokyo…”</p>
<p>“No, you can’t.” Akira stared at Ryuji, serious. “You aren’t supposed to see only two or three dots in the sky at night.”</p>
<p>“Yeah…” Ryuji thought for a moment. “Guess that’s true.”</p>
<p>“We can watch them tonight, if you want.”</p>
<p>Ryuji looked at him, an amused smile on his face.</p>
<p>“You wanna stargaze with me?” He asked in a playful tone. “Ah, you’re such a romantic, Aki…”</p>
<p>“I know…” Akira placed a hand over Ryuji’s chest, letting out an infatuated sigh. “You do this to me.”</p>
<p>Ryuji embraced Akira’s waist and kissed his forehead.</p>
<p>“Little nerd,” he whispered.</p>
<p>Akira smiled, placing his arm around Ryuji’s waist as they started to walk again, without haste. They sat on a bench near the temple, chatting for a while, before deciding to go back to Akira’s house. His parents rarely spent the weekends home, so when Akira was welcomed into the kitchen by his mother’s slightly annoyed tone, his stomach turned.</p>
<p>“Look who decided to come back home…” she said. “So you can’t go to school, but has no problem going…” She interrupted her phrase as soon as she noticed Ryuji. “Who’s this?”</p>
<p>Akira bit his lip. He knew they couldn’t spend the entire weekend in his house without coming across his parents, but… part of him hoped so.</p>
<p>“This is my…” Akira hesitated for a second. “Friend, Ryuji Sakamoto.”</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you,” said Ryuji.</p>
<p>“Oh,” his mother raised her eyebrow. “It’s rare for Akira to bring friends home. He’s not really the social type, you know?”</p>
<p>Ryuji glanced at Akira, clearly unsure of how to respond. Akira lowered his gaze.</p>
<p>“We’re going to my bedroom,” he said.</p>
<p>“No, please, have a cup of tea,” she asked. “The water is hot already, so it’ll just take a minute.”</p>
<p>The last thing Akira wanted was to have a cup of tea with Ryuji and his mother in the same room, but knew that refusing it could give her even more things to throw at his face next time they had an argument. He sat on a chair, and Ryuji soon imitated him. His mother placed three cups of tea on the table, then joined them, observing Ryuji for a while.</p>
<p>“I don’t remember seeing you before, Sakamoto,” she said. “Where do you live?”</p>
<p>“I came to visit from Tokyo,” explained Ryuji. “Aki and I were in the same school.”</p>
<p>His words made her widen her eyes.</p>
<p>“You came all the way from Tokyo to see Akira?” she asked. “That’s surprising.”</p>
<p>Akira shifted uncomfortably on the chair, disliking the flow of that conversation.</p>
<p>“Why?” questioned Ryuji, furrowing his brow. “We’re friends.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sorry.” She gestured briefly, offering him a smile. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way… It’s really nice of you to come to visit.” She studied him for a while longer. “Well, now that I think about it, you <em>do</em> look like a Tokyo boy, especially the hair. Very <em>stylish</em>.”</p>
<p>That didn’t sound much like a compliment, and Ryuji answered with a ‘thanks’ and a forced chuckle. She took a sip of her tea before speaking again.</p>
<p>“Do you skip classes, Sakamoto?”</p>
<p>Akira flinched. His suspicions were right… Her intention was to indirectly lecture him using Ryuji.</p>
<p>“Uh… No?” answered Ryuji, cautious. “Why?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sure your parents are really proud of you for that!” she answered. “Maybe you should have a serious talk with your friend.” She sighed, indicating Akira with a gesture of her head. “He hasn’t been taking school as seriously as he should, lately.”</p>
<p>“Mother, please…” muttered Akira.</p>
<p>“I thought his time in the city would teach him some responsibility,” she proceeded, ignoring him, “but instead, it seems it only made things worse. If it keeps going like this, he won’t even be able to graduate from high school…” She shook her head. “Can you imagine it? A boy his age, already trowing his future away like that?”</p>
<p>She looked at Ryuji with serious eyes, clearly expecting him to agree. Akira could notice Ryuji tensing up beside him, and, for a moment, he thought his boyfriend was about to yell at his mother. Instead, Ryuji stayed quiet and in place, with a stiff smile on his lips.</p>
<p>“We always gave him everything, and now he thinks the world revolves around him…” she continued. “Proof that you can’t be too soft with children… I never once raised my hand against him, and now he thinks he can do anything he wants without consequences. When you have kids, Sakamoto, make sure to be hard on them, or you could end up with a troublemaker like--”</p>
<p>Ryuji placed his cup on the table with more force than necessary, and the noise made her stop talking.</p>
<p>“So… You sayin’ Aki’s givin’ you trouble?” he asked in a calm voice.</p>
<p>Akira blinked: he knew Ryuji could easily lose his temper when someone badmouthed a person he liked, but seeing him speak in that controlled tone, with that rigid smile on his face, was something unusual--normally, he would raise his voice and tell the person to go fuck themself.</p>
<p>“Funny,” he proceeded, “‘cause back in Shujin Aki was the top student of his class. He has a lotta friends who really like and look up to him, and everyone wished he didn’t have to come back home. It’s thanks to him usin’ his free time to help me study that my grades went up last year, and he helped me out in more ways you can even imagine. He’s the most hardworkin’ and smart person I’ve ever met, and he always goes outta his way to help people, even if he doesn’t have to.” He made a pause, staring her in the eyes. “Y’know… It almost looks like he ain’t the problem here.”</p>
<p>Silence filled the kitchen, and Akira’s mother averted her gaze, clearly displeased with that response. Ryuji raised his cup of tea, drinking it all in one go, placing the empty cup on the table.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the tea,” he said, standing up. “Let’s go, Aki.”</p>
<p>He grabbed Akira by the wrist, pulling him along to the bedroom without giving his mother a second look. He then closed the door behind them, letting go of Akira, who watched as Ryuji took some deep breaths without looking at him.</p>
<p>“Sorry…” he said after a while. “I kinda lost it back there.”</p>
<p>Before Akira could say anything, Ryuji proceeded in an anxious tone.</p>
<p>“I’m… I’m tryin’ to control my temper, I really am. It’s just that… Hearin’ she talk like that about you made me so angry.”</p>
<p>“I know you are,” said Akira.</p>
<p>“I’ll be better,” proceeded Ryuji. “I’m really tryin’, I swear.”</p>
<p>“Ryuji… It’s alright.”</p>
<p>Ryuji stayed silent for a while, then risked a glance at Akira.</p>
<p>“Did I ruin your weekend?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Ryuji, stop.” Akira approached him, placing his hands on Ryuji’s shoulders, looking him in the eyes. “Everything is fine, and my weekend is being great.”</p>
<p>“Oh, good…” Ryuji let out a nervous chuckle. “At least I didn’t ruin <em>everythin’</em> this time. I mean, your mother probably hates my guts now, but--”</p>
<p>“You didn’t ruin anything,” assured Akira.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s good to know.”</p>
<p>“And you have a nice ass.”</p>
<p>Those words came so out of nowhere that, for a moment, Ryuji seemed more confused than anxious. Akira smiled, placing his hands on Ryuji’s cheeks, cupping his face.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, really,” he said. “Honestly, I’ve been wanting to say something like that to her since I came back, but… I didn’t have the courage to. If anything, I heard so much shit since I came back that part of me started to think that they were right. So, hearing you say all that about me was…” He let out a low giggle. “Well, it was pretty embarrassing, but very nice to hear.”</p>
<p>Ryuji lowered his eyes.</p>
<p>“It’s all true, y’know?” he said. “I ain’t proud of how I reacted, but… I don’t really regret what I said.”</p>
<p>“Hey… Look at me.”</p>
<p>He hesitated a little before doing as Akira said.</p>
<p>“You didn’t even raise your voice this time,” said Akira. “Just think about how you’d have reacted just one year ago… You can see the difference, can’t you?”</p>
<p>“I guess…”</p>
<p>“You made a lot of progress already, okay?” continued Akira. “So, stop being so hard on yourself, or I’ll be the one getting mad here.”</p>
<p>Ryuji nodded with a small sigh. He reached for Akira’s hands, bringing one of them to his lips, kissing his palm.</p>
<p>“But, really…” he said in a serious voice, looking at Akira. “You should try talkin’ to your parents about this, ‘cause it’s really unfair how they’re treatin’ you.”</p>
<p>The idea was enough to make him feel nervous.</p>
<p>“I can’t…” he said. “Just the way they look at me already makes me…”</p>
<p>He couldn’t find a proper word to describe it, but Ryuji nodded in response.</p>
<p>“I get it.”</p>
<p>“You saw my mother just now…” proceeded Akira. “It’s like this every time she talks to me. I don’t know what else she wants me to do… She knows I’m innocent, but it’s like being accused was already enough. She keeps saying that I’m nothing but trouble.”</p>
<p>“And that’s stupid. You did nothin’ wrong, Aki… Nothing.”</p>
<p>Hearing those words were comforting. Sometimes, it was hard to believe that he wasn’t the one to blame, considering how people looked at him.</p>
<p>“I need to put myself together…” he said in a tired voice. “I can’t expect you to come here every time I feel bad.”</p>
<p>“But I don’t wanna see you going through this on your own.” He lowered his voice. “There’s really nothin’ I can do to help?”</p>
<p>“You’re doing it right now.”</p>
<p>“Am I really?”</p>
<p>“Of course you are,” answered Akira. “I was barely functioning before you came.”</p>
<p>He meant that as a joke, but Ryuji lowered his eyes.</p>
<p>“I can imagine…” he said. “And that worries me.”</p>
<p>The concern in his voice caused a sharp pain in Akira’s chest. He moved closer to Ryuji, resting his head against his shoulder. Ryuji caressed his hair, and Akira closed his eyes.</p>
<p>“I’m really complicated sometimes, am I not?” he asked in a low voice.</p>
<p>“A little,” admitted Ryuji.</p>
<p>“Are you sure this is what you want?”</p>
<p>“Dunno…” Ryuji kissed his head. “You sure you want a short-tempered, dumb shit like me?”</p>
<p>Akira raised his head, looking at him with a slight frown.</p>
<p>“Don’t say that…”</p>
<p>“You started it.”</p>
<p>He groaned in protest, then placed a kiss on the side of Ryuji’s neck. Ryuji embraced his waist, resting his head against Akira’s.</p>
<p>“We’re fine, Aki…” he said. “We’re both trash bags, but we work well together.”</p>
<p>“Trash bag…” repeated Akira with a chuckle. “That must be the most romantic thing you ever called me.”</p>
<p>“I’m a very romantic guy.”</p>
<p>“The most romantic one I’ve ever met.”</p>
<p>They moved to the bed, and Akira rested his head on Ryuji’s chest, hugging his torso and entwining their legs. He missed that so much… Just staying like that with Ryuji, chatting and enjoying the proximity. It made him feel calm and safe, as if his presence was enough to silence Akira’s bad thoughts. The hours passed in that same lazy, peaceful manner, until night finally came.</p>
<p>“Do you want to go for a walk?” asked Akira. “See the stars?”</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>As soon as they stepped out of the house, Ryuji looked at the sky, widening his eyes.</p>
<p>“Holy shit, you were right!” he said. “We can see all the stars!”</p>
<p>“I told you,” answered Akira. “There has to be a positive side in being a country bumpkin… Come, there’s a place where we can get a better view.”</p>
<p>Akira guided him until they reached the riverbed. There were no buildings or lamp posts close to that area, which gave them an unobstructed view of the sky. They lied on the grass side by side.</p>
<p>“The wind is nice here,” commented Ryuji.</p>
<p>“Yes,” agreed Akira. “And, after so much time in Tokyo, I almost forgot how silent the nights are here.”</p>
<p>Ryuji nodded.</p>
<p>“To be fair, you can’t do this in Tokyo,” he said. “If you lie down anywhere, you’ll probably get trampled down to the death.”</p>
<p>That image made Akira chuckle.</p>
<p>“That’s true,” he said, “but I can’t do this when I’m on my own. It was fine when I was a kid, but nowadays, people would probably think that I’m on drugs.”</p>
<p>“That’s… pretty sad.” Ryuji gave a small shrug. “Well, at least now they can think that we’re both on drugs.”</p>
<p>“That makes everything better, of course.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” agreed Ryuji. “Two delinquents, terrorizing the countryside. Soon people are gonna start chasin’ us out with pitchforks and--” he suddenly stopped talking, pointing at the sky with a surprised smile. “Hey! That was a shootin’ star! You saw it?”</p>
<p>“I did!” Akira laughed, keeping to himself the fact that shooting stars were a pretty common sight in such a clear sky. “So, what did you wish for?”</p>
<p>“I can’t tell, or it won’t come true.”</p>
<p>“C’mon…” Akira twisted his lips, then offered Ryuji a wide smile again. “If you tell me, I’ll tell you mine in return, okay?”</p>
<p>Ryuji considered it for a moment.</p>
<p>“Fine,” he said. “What was it?”</p>
<p>“To grow taller than you.”</p>
<p>The answer made Ryuji stare at him in disbelief.</p>
<p>“What…? Why?”</p>
<p>“You got like, an inch taller than me, and it’s making me so mad…” explained Akira with a pout. “We were supposed to be equals, and you betrayed my trust.”</p>
<p>“Dude… I don’t even know what to tell you.”</p>
<p>“It’s your guilt weighing on you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah…” Ryuji shook his head. “‘Cause I chose to get taller just to make you mad.”</p>
<p>“See? I can’t believe you’d sink this low…” Akira lightly poked his arm with his elbow. “Anyway, I told you mine. Your turn.”</p>
<p>Ryuji groaned, unhappy.</p>
<p>“It’s kinda embarrassing…” he admitted.</p>
<p>“I won’t laugh,” assured Akira.</p>
<p>He took a moment to consider it, then let out a small sigh.</p>
<p>“I wanna be a more reliable person.”</p>
<p>The answer made Akira raise his eyebrow.</p>
<p>“What? Really?” He briefly laughed through his nose. “C’mon, Ryuji… You’re more than reliable already.”</p>
<p>“Not enough.”</p>
<p>Akira watched him, who kept his eyes on the sky.</p>
<p>“I keep dependin’ on everyone…” he explained. “Ann, Yusu, Yuuki… Especially you. No matter how bad I’m feelin’, talkin’ to you always makes me feel better. But I can’t do the same for you. Sometimes I don’t even realize when somethin’ is wrong, and even when I notice it, I never know what to do, or what to say to make it better. I wanna be the kinda guy you can rely on whenever somethin’ bad happens. I want you to come to me when you need anythin’, but… the way I am now, it wouldn’t help much even if you did.”</p>
<p>“That’s not true,” protested Akira. “I always talk to you about my problems… That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah…” A tired smile took Ryuji’s lips. “But only when you can’t take it anymore. You shouldn’t have to wait until things get this bad to ask for my help… I want you to come to me every time something’s wrong, no matter how small it is.” He made a brief pause, lowering his voice. “So, I wanna be better. I wanna be someone who can give you strength, no matter how bad things become.”</p>
<p>Akira didn’t answer, and it made Ryuji look at him, concerned.</p>
<p>“Did I say somethin’ weird?” he asked.</p>
<p>Akira shook his head.</p>
<p>“I just wasn’t expecting something like that…” he said.</p>
<p>“What, then?” asked Ryuji with a laugh. “If I wished to grow taller too, it’d never stop, and soon we’d be two giants wanderin’ around.”</p>
<p>That comment made Akira smile.</p>
<p>“That doesn’t sound healthy for the city…” he said.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Ryuji nodded. “So be glad I wasn’t a little asshole like you, and didn’t ask for it.”</p>
<p>“Why? That sounded amazing!”</p>
<p>“Turnin’ into fuckin’ Godzilla?”</p>
<p>“Yep.”</p>
<p>Ryuji considered it for a moment.</p>
<p>“Yeah… It kinda does,” he admitted, clicking his tongue. “Damn, now I feel bad I missed my chance.”</p>
<p>Akira shook his head with a sad expression.</p>
<p>“You always ruin my plans…” he said.</p>
<p>“Yeah…” agreed Ryuji. “I’m such a terrible person…”</p>
<p>“You are.”</p>
<p>Saying that, Akira turned on his side, reaching for Ryuji’s face, caressing his hairline.</p>
<p>“Hey…” he said. “Just so you know, you <em>are</em> reliable.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, babe.”</p>
<p>“You’re not taking me seriously…”</p>
<p>“I didn’t say anythin’!”</p>
<p>“I can tell…” he let out a frustrated sigh. “Really, Ryuji… You have such a bad image of yourself. It makes me angry just to hear you talking about it.”</p>
<p>Akira’s words made Ryuji seem slightly embarrassed.</p>
<p>“I’m… sorry…?” He averted his gaze. “It’s just that, even now, I never know what’s goin’ on in your head.”</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>Ryuji didn’t answer immediately, struggling to find the words.</p>
<p>“You know everythin’ that has to know about me,” he said finally, “even the really bad things, but… I know you’re always keepin’ a lotta stuff inside yourself, and I wanna help, but don’t know how. It’s so frustrating…”</p>
<p>“It’s not like that…” said Akira. “I trust you with my life. You know things about me I never told anyone else. I just…”</p>
<p>He thought for a moment, unable to avoid that obvious conclusion.</p>
<p>“I guess I’m just not that good with opening up to others,” he said.</p>
<p>“I see…”</p>
<p>He hesitated a little before looking at Akira again.</p>
<p>“Aki…” he said. “I don’t wanna force you to talk if you don’t want to, but… I’m here for you, okay? For everything you need, be it letting it all out, or kicking some asses. You can always count on me.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>Ryuji reached for Akira’s hand, holding it.</p>
<p>“So,” he proceeded. “even when I’m far from you, you can still talk to me. No matter what you need, I’ll do what I can to help.”</p>
<p>Akira smiled, intertwining their fingers.</p>
<p>“Seems like my wish came true, after all…” he said.</p>
<p>“What?” Ryuji frowned. “Did you grow any taller?”</p>
<p>The question made Akira laugh.</p>
<p>“I didn’t really ask for that!” he said. “It was a joke.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Ryuji looked at him, suspicious. “Comin’ from you, I really can’t tell... What did you ask for, then?”</p>
<p>“You’ll say I’m being corny…”</p>
<p>“Yeah, probably,” Ryuji shrugged. “But I still wanna know.”</p>
<p>“I asked for you to like me as much as I like you.”</p>
<p>He only realized how embarrassing it was to say that out loud after he already did. As expected, it made Ryuji laugh.</p>
<p>“For real, Aki?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Akira. “I’m a romantic, okay? Don’t judge me.”</p>
<p>“I always will,” Ryuji looked at him, an amused smile on his lips. “So, how much do you like me?”</p>
<p>Akira twisted his lips, but ended up answering anyway.</p>
<p>“Really much.”</p>
<p>“Nah…” said Ryuji. “I doubt it’s more than I do…”</p>
<p>“I’m sure it is.”</p>
<p>The answer made Ryuji furrow his brow.</p>
<p>“Didn’t you wish for it to be the same, though?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I guess I did…”</p>
<p>“Well…” Ryuji thought for a second. “I feel the same as before, so maybe you were the one who changed?”</p>
<p>Akira considered it for a moment.</p>
<p>“Or maybe we didn’t change at all,” he suggested.</p>
<p>“Yeah… Maybe.”</p>
<p>Ryuji looked at him for a while, then started to laugh again, pulling Akira into a tight hug.</p>
<p>“You sappy little nerd…” he said, kissing his face.</p>
<p>“Stop it!” protested Akira.</p>
<p>He hid his face on Ryuji’s shoulder, and Ryuji--still giggling--playfully ruffled his hair.</p>
<p>“Ah,” said Ryuji suddenly. “I saw another one!”</p>
<p>“Where?” Akira turned around, looking at the sky despite knowing it was already too late. “Damn, I missed it…”</p>
<p>“Extra wish for me…”</p>
<p>Ryuji hummed to himself, clearly happy. Akira smiled, resting his head on Ryuji’s chest.</p>
<p>“You know…” he said. “You say you’re not reliable and all that, but whenever I feel bad, you make me feel better just by… being you.”</p>
<p>He placed his hand on Ryuji’s chest, absentmindedly caressing it with his fingers as he proceeded.</p>
<p>“Sometimes I can see nothing but the worst things about me… And, every time, you remind me that I can still be loved for what I am.”</p>
<p>He closed his eyes, his whole body relaxing.</p>
<p>“I don’t need anything else…” he added in a low voice. “Just this.”</p>
<p>“You get happy with so little…” muttered Ryuji.</p>
<p>“It’s more than enough.”</p>
<p>He didn’t say anything else for a while, thinking about his own words.</p>
<p>“I’m so happy when I’m with you,” he said.</p>
<p>“Me too.”</p>
<p>Ryuji stayed silent for a while after saying that, as if his mind was somewhere else.</p>
<p>“Hey…” he said. “I don’t know if this is the best moment to talk about this, but…”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Akira looked at him, unsure of what to expect. Ryuji took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“Remember what you told me?” he asked. “About college, n’ all?</p>
<p>Those words immediately grabbed Akira’s attention.</p>
<p>“Are you going to…?”</p>
<p>“Yeah…” said Ryuji. “I probably won’t get into any good one with my brains, but… Kawakami said she’ll help me study, so I’ll do what I can.”</p>
<p>Akira jolted up, a wide smile taking his face.</p>
<p>“That’s great!” he said. “I… I can help you with your studies if you want to!” He opened his mouth, but didn’t even know what else to say. “Damn, Ryuji… I’m so happy to know!”</p>
<p>His excitement made Ryuji smile. He reached for Akira’s face, caressing it.</p>
<p>“It’s thanks to you,” he said. “I don’t think you even realize it, but you make me wanna be a better person.”</p>
<p>Hearing Ryuji say those words with that expression made Akira’s heart do <em>something</em>. He gave Ryuji’s thigh a light slap.</p>
<p>“Fuck…” he said. “Don’t say this when I’m already in a fucking emotional state, you jerk.”</p>
<p>“It’s the truth, you asshole. Deal with it.” Ryuji held Akira’s wrist before he could slap him again. “And stop slappin’ me, you little fuck.”</p>
<p>“I need to let my feelings out…” protested Akira.</p>
<p>“By slapping me?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Why I’m not surprised?”</p>
<p>Akira grumbled, hugging Ryuji again, rubbing his face against his cheek.</p>
<p>“What is it, now?” asked Ryuji in an amused tone.</p>
<p>“Just hugging my hot boyfriend,” said Akira.</p>
<p>“Well, glad you think so.”</p>
<p>Again, Akira felt like he was unable to let all of his feelings for his boyfriend out. He groaned, as if in deep suffering, then pulled Ryuji’s t-shirt up, sticking his head under it. The unexpected action made Ryuji laugh.</p>
<p>“Akira… What are you doin’?”</p>
<p>“Hiding.”</p>
<p>“Hiding?” repeated Ryuji. “From what?”</p>
<p>“Everything…” Akira groaned, hugging Ryuji’s hips. “I’ll live here now.”</p>
<p>“C’mon, you gonna stretch my t-shirt!”</p>
<p>“Worth the sacrifice.”</p>
<p>Ryuji gave up on complaining, simply petting Akira’s head over the fabric.</p>
<p>“You clingy little thing.”</p>
<p>“I’m in heaven…” muttered Akira.</p>
<p>It wasn’t that much of an exaggeration: it was in moments like that one that Akira realized how starved of affection he had been. However, knowing that Ryuji would leave again on the next day, and that he would have to spend a long time without feeling that warmth was painful.</p>
<p>“Ryuji…” he said. “Take me back with you?”</p>
<p>It took a few seconds for the answer to come, low as a whisper.</p>
<p>“If you really ask me, I will.”</p>
<p>Before Akira could answer, Ryuji proceeded.</p>
<p>“Aki… I know I said this before, but, if you ever need, you have a place in my home, alright?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Akira.</p>
<p>“Okay… Just don’t forget it.”</p>
<p>“I won’t.”</p>
<p>Those words helped him calm down. <em>That’s right…</em> If things ever become unbearable to him, he had a safe place to go to.</p>
<p>“Do you think I’d fit inside your bag?” he asked in a playful tone.</p>
<p>“We could try,” said Ryuji. “But I think it’s gonna be a little uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>“Buy a bigger bag.”</p>
<p>“Yeah… That’ll solve all our problems.”</p>
<p>Akira chuckled, then got out of Ryuji’s t-shirt, observing his boyfriend in silence.</p>
<p>“What?” asked Ryuji.</p>
<p>“Nothing…” answered Akira. “I just feel loved.”</p>
<p>His words brightened Ryuji’s expression.</p>
<p>“Well, that makes two of us,” he said.</p>
<p>Akira smiled, then leaned in Ryuji’s direction for a kiss.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When the afternoon of the next day came, Akira accompanied Ryuji to the bus terminal. Part of him wished the bus would never come, forcing Ryuji to stay for just another day. However, it arrived just in time, for his disappointment.</p>
<p>“Finally…” said Morgana. “I couldn’t stand having Ryuji around for another minute.”</p>
<p>Despite his words, he made sure to accompany them to the terminal. Ryuji offered him a grin before taking him from Akira’s lap, giving him a hug, rubbing his face against Morgana’s.</p>
<p>“I’ll miss you too, you furry little bastard!”</p>
<p>“Let go!”</p>
<p>After they were done with their goodbyes, Ryuji turned his attention back to Akira, placing a hand on the back of his neck in a gentle caress.</p>
<p>“If you need anythin’, just tell me, okay?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Okay,” said Akira. “But I can go through this. Just a few more months…”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Ryuji showed a big smile. “If anyone can face the struggles of fuckin’ <em>Boreland</em>, it’s you.”</p>
<p>“Boreland has nothing on me.” Akira raised both his fists in a gesture of defiance. “I kicked a God’s ass… I can survive in this place for a little longer.”</p>
<p>“That’s right!”</p>
<p>They laughed, then approached each other until their foreheads touched.</p>
<p>“And it’ll be worth the wait, right?” asked Akira in a low voice.</p>
<p>“‘Course it will.”</p>
<p>Akira smiled, kissing Ryuji’s lips.</p>
<p>“I love you,” he said.</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
<p>They shared one last kiss before Ryuji had to embark on the bus. He waved at Akira and Morgana as it drove away, and Akira tried to ignore that bittersweet feeling in his chest.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry,” said Morgana. “Stupid Ryuji can’t stay away from you for too long.”</p>
<p>Akira smiled at Morgana’s way of comforting him. They went back to his house together, and before Akira could get to his bedroom, his mother left hers. She stared at him for a moment.</p>
<p>“Is your friend gone?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>She let out a long sigh.</p>
<p>“You made some rude friends in Tokyo, didn’t you?” she said. “No wonder you changed so much.”</p>
<p>Maybe, in another situation, Akira would have stayed silent as she spoke. However, spending so much time with Ryuji seemed to have an effect on him. He met her gaze, speaking in a serious voice.</p>
<p>“Mother… I don’t know what you’re thinking, or expecting from me, but acting like I’m an intruder in this house won’t make anything better.”</p>
<p>His retort seemed to get her by surprise.</p>
<p>“I’m not doing that!” she said. “You’re the one who—”</p>
<p>“Who what?” he interrupted her without raising his voice. “Didn’t they prove my innocence already? What else do you want?”</p>
<p>She opened her mouth, but didn’t answer. In the end, she simply shook her head.</p>
<p>“Akira…” she said. “The past year wasn’t easy for me.”</p>
<p>“And why do you think it was easy for <em>me</em>?” questioned Akira. “Why do you think it is easy <em>now</em>, when even my own family acts like I’m a burden?”</p>
<p>“Look, I’m sorry that I can’t deal with everyone saying my son is a criminal, alright? I’m not perfect!”</p>
<p>“Then, please, don’t expect me to be.”</p>
<p>She stayed silent, and Akira used that chance to get into his bedroom. He feared that she would come after him, yelling for leaving like that. However, she didn’t.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?” asked Morgana.</p>
<p>“Yes…” Akira gave a light shrug. “Already used to it, I guess.”</p>
<p>Morgana nodded, then offered him a tiny smile.</p>
<p>“But you made her think…” he said. “Maybe she’ll understand what you’re going through now.”</p>
<p>“Maybe…” Akira considered it for a while. “But, even if she doesn’t… It doesn’t matter.”</p>
<p>The cat blinked at his answer, surprised. Akira sat on his bed, gesturing for Morgana to get on his lap.</p>
<p>“This isn’t my home, Mona,” explained Akira, petting Morgana’s fur. “I don’t care if they’re my parents… They’re not my <em>family.”</em></p>
<p>“Akira…”</p>
<p>Morgana seemed concerned. Akira showed a reassuring smile.</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” he said.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Well, it still hurts… a lot,” he admitted. “But seeing Ryuji reminded me that I’m more than this. I mean, more than what they think I am. And that I deserve better too. Does it make any sense?”</p>
<p>“It does.”</p>
<p>He hugged Morgana, who purred softly.</p>
<p>“Just a few more months…” said Akira. “I’ve been through worse than this.”</p>
<p>“That’s the spirit.”</p>
<p>Morgana rubbed their faces together in a gesture of affection.</p>
<p>“You know…” said the cat. “Despite everything, you look better than you did in a long time. It makes me happy to see it.”</p>
<p>“Really?” asked Akira with a smile. “I guess I just realized I have something to look forward to.”</p>
<p>His words made Morgana roll his eyes.</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me it’s Ryuji…”</p>
<p>“Alright, I won’t tell.”</p>
<p>“You’re hopeless…”</p>
<p>Akira giggled, but didn’t say anything else. He lied down with Morgana next to him, telling himself that he should get some rest before going to school the next day. It still wasn’t a pleasant thought, but it would be worth it. He just had to remind himself of what would come after that bad part of his life finally came to an end.</p>
<p>A feeling of peace took his chest: just a few more months, and he would be home again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My soul belongs to these nerds.</p>
<p>Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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